I had the most fantastic weekend at the end of July, camping in the Westfjords of Iceland and watching other people playing in the cold mud. The temperature was between 10-15 degrees the entire weekend and I managed to not use the very sexy, yellow fisherman’s trousers that I bought especially for playing around in the rain. I kept myself warm drinking instant coffee, eating grilled hot dogs and laughing at various funny videos and jokes that the group I was with took turns showing everybody.
To say that the last few days have been confusing is an understatement. All of a sudden I find myself in Reykjavik, Iceland’s capital, having moved three days after seeing this apartment for the first time. All of a sudden I live alone instead of living with my family and without needing to get up early and commuting for 40 minutes.
All of a sudden I am seeing my cups again. My beautiful, blue cups that I bought for myself because I wanted to hold something beautiful. My books have their space on the shelf. My pictures are on the wall. I feel so happy.
My apartment is literally next to the city center. I went to the store the first day after I moved and I felt like I had landed in a foreign country, because the crowd was so big and the buildings close together. My parents live in an Icelandic village full of houses and so moving to the city center is a big change.
It is so different from this time last year. In August last year I lived in Luxembourg and was thinking about moving to the US to be with my then-boyfriend. I didn’t really like my job (although the people were nice) and I felt lost in everything. My friends were nice but seemed to have their lives planned out. I never wanted to buy an apartment or a car because I didn’t want to settle down there.
Now, a mere year later, I feel so peaceful and content. I don’t know if I will stay in Iceland for the rest of my life but I enjoy being here now. I rent an apartment that fulfills all the requirements I had. I am happily exercising and reaching goals. My job is challenging in unexpected ways which keeps me engaged and happy and I have am idea where I want to go from there. My friends are close by and not all are married with 2.5 children. I am happy being single for the time being and living life just for myself. There’s really not more to be said than that this time.
The issue of uncertainty has been circling in my head for the past few days In fact, I see uncertainty almost as a synonym to chaos and an area of life that we are desperate to escape when we find ourselves in it.
Escaping uncertain situations has become so ingrained in our DNA that we are almost unaware of doing it. We get knocked off our course and start immediately to chart our way back to it instead of stopping for a while and enjoying the feeling.
For me, uncertainty is not knowing where you are, what you are doing and even what you want. It is a scary place because you are forced back to square one and you have to figure out the steps from there.
The thing is though, that the steps you take, can and should be the ones that are the truest to your nature. Being on square one actually gives you a chance to look up and decide whether left or right, up or down look the best to you, and to move from there. It is a place I’ve learned to live with and let go in because otherwise life is all too ready to give me rules and habits to follow.
I’ve been doing just that for the past five months, meaning letting go, and things seem to be progressing nicely. I’ve got a job that is fulfilling, I am getting a place unexpectedly according to my wants and I am making new habits every day that I am happy with (well, most anyway since those two glasses of wine are tough to take out). I honestly think I have never been this content in my life (famous last words).
However, if this place of uncertainty is leading you directly into trouble there are always people out there willing to help or tell you what to do. There are always traditional ways of handling every situation. It is then up to you to decide if you really want to follow them. But whatever you do, try to enjoy the chaos. It is where we are from and shows you who you are.
This weekend is a big travelling weekend in Iceland. As in, most people take their tents, caravans, etc just to go someplace a little warmer and a lot more fun to eat sandwiches with shrimp salads, barbecue hot dogs and drink pleeeeeenty of alcohol to get through the cold night.
My new thing these days is learning how to treat myself better and figure out what I want out of life. Not what my family wants, not what society wants. Just me. What I want. Continue reading
I started drinking whisky with my ex, when the first sips of the golden liquid made me think of fire and jet fuel, and the combination of flavors gave me a difficult time trying to decide whether I liked it or not. But after I bought the first bottle, which was sold quite beautifully and reminded me of a lesson I’ve learned about food and wine I have become hooked.
I have been thinking about personal goals lately, about how to achieve them and what they should be. After I started running I started to realize the steps you need to go through to achieve them, at least when it comes to exercise, and maybe they will help in other areas.
How to start:
First off it is important to start veeeeery slowly, and make it so that you don’t think you are actually putting in a lot of effort. My running program on my mobile started with walking 2 kilometers and kept it in that area for a few weeks, three times a week. 10 weeks later I was running 5 kilometers and feeling weird if I couldn’t finish that distance. Three weeks after that I am doing a new program that gets me to 10 kilometers and doing 5 kilometers three times a week. I am even eyeing a marathon at some point, and thinking about increasing my ways of exercising to include strength training.
In a similar fashion, I want to get good at writing or blogging. So I decided to start posting on a schedule, finding ideas and writing the structure every week. So far, so good.
How to continue:
Secondly, for me at least, I find it very important to have an external goal. I know I want to do a marathon at some point and going on officially held runs helps me get to that point slowly. After my couch to 5km program I did the Color Run, which was 5km. Now, for the 10km run, I have chosen to participate in the 10km run in the Reykjavik marathon. I feel excited.
For the writing part, I haven’t really found a good external goal for the blogging. I know there are blogging competitions out there, but I don’t know if one can “train” for them.
How to keep at it:
Thirdly, the things that you do have to reflect your values. I know that exercising is important to me, just to keep me moving, to do something fun and keep my head clear. Similarly, blogging or writing is something that has been a part of me for so long, it is my creative outlet and I want to get better at it. I used to write stories as a child and I tend to find words, and the images they conjure up, so funny.
Achieving goals was something that I never thought would be a part of me. Now that it is becoming so, I am starting to enjoy setting others. Doing it is also helping me feel better about myself and my life.